sugarbaby regaining consciousness ,,,, x

wow it took me several days to regain consciousness after that wonderful saturday ,,,,,

for the past few days i was feeling......i dont know how to describe it.....like i said unreal...
yeah like seeing yourself  outside of what was going on...exactly how he described he felt...

i was with other people doing things as usual,having conversations,planning things but i dont feel HERE...
i felt a bit lost ,,, like everything was suspended in time....

until yesterday....ok i have to go back to earth haha!!! realizing i have things to sort out,things to discuss with mr f,eye appointment,obligations that needs organizing,,,i have to make sure this is ok and that...problems that needs solving...

then knowing i will be with him today xxxx

for some reason knowing this gives me some comfort,anticipation giving me tunnel vision haha!!!

this is however the first time we will be together on common ground,
day...
people around,,,
cars passing by,,,
people walking everywhere,,,

waiting for him in that corner while i observed things that were familiar to me,,,chinatown,busy as ever,different people from different backgrounds melting all together on a regular day,,,but with different business to deal with....

then there he was...

smiling,,,

trying to test myself how i would feel in this kind f situation...

wow...seeing him there crossing the road smiling at me,,,
i could hear my heart thumping away,my face a light feel of burning...

i remember quickly all the songs he sent me on email,,sneaked in the morning to watch them and felt smiley,,,this from a man who has difficulty expressing himself ... but happy to share how he felt with me other than being intimate,,,through lyrics....and how unusual for a man to do!!!!

but he did...

i cant describe how i felt listening to them...happy?elated?? i am not going to say it .... haha


xxxxxxx

then we were there in the corner of a busy road,,,,
he kissed me and took my hand,,,,

we walked a brief walk to where we were having lunch,,,lovely rustic place...
i was looking at him animated with stories,things he was sharing with me .... i can sense he was happy...he has a look of shyness when he says things to me but he was happy to tell me...

i was happy to be there even if it was unfair for him to see me in such short notice ....

we were too immersed with a lot of things about us,the waiter had to come back 4 times to remind us we need to order,,,or rather to remind us that we are there to actually eat food - not each other!!!! haha

we chose from the menu,and how bizarre when the food came,,, i tried both dishes and what we ordered, like i said to him actually, complemented each other!!!! wow ...

so we ate,chatted a lot about different things our letters to each other,songs,schedules,friends and that wonderful saturday xxxx

but in that small rustic room,,,if i think about it now we behaved as if there was no one around,like it was just me and him and when he whispered to me that if everyone would leave he would love to .... me haha!!!

man and his food and sex xxxxx

but today we were there people didnt care,as far as they know we are just two people who are into each other- a lot lol

but yeah,it was an awakening that we actually live in the real world except we have our own fantasy that no one else knows....we are each others secrets...a lovely secret...i have kept mine hanging on a chain,,,no one knows the meaning except me,except him...xxxx

today we were among the crowd of people but in an entirely different way...it was a date of some sort,,,
which has a wonderful meaning for me,,seeing him there laughing,joking,kissing me and most specially
he was holding my hand the whole time,,,

and in return as no one knows i was holding his on mine attached to a string connected to my heart xxxxx my secret that is now out in the open xxx